Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Reasons behind why I don't give Mason Tummy Time

So there's always a lot of angst when the subject of tummy time comes up around me. People are always trying to tell me why it's so important, and I am always trying to tell them why I choose not to do it, but I always seem to get frustrated and am unable to get my point across. I'm not uneducated in the area, in fact I know all of the "benefits" and actually even the reasons behind why we as parents are told to do it. I took the Early Childhood Education Diploma (associate's degree) course at Lethbridge College and we talked about subjects like tummy time often. So here it goes, my un-interupted "rant" about tummy time...

First off, why is tummy time "important"? Well, we have been told it helps prevent the flat spots on baby's head, not only the little ones that will go away but the big ones that cause the child to wear one of those therapy helmets to make it go away. It also helps to strengthen neck and back muscles. Another claim is that it helps the child learn to roll over sooner. Ok, that all is great. Really, those are all very important things. But Mason has had tummy time maybe 10 times in his whole life of 5 1/2 months (a couple times by me where he laid on his tummy on my tummy for about 30 seconds, and the other times by people watching him, doing it in secret..but of course I always find out later...like once when I walked in on Derrick standing over Mason who had been put on his stomach...but that's a whole other subject to rant on for another day).

The main reason behind the reasons given above for tummy time: baby containers. What are baby containers? They are the toys and contraptions we have come up with over the years that don't allow babies to have free movement. Some are necessary (carseat, stroller), but many are not (baby vibrating chairs, swings...) They are for convenience-sake only--for the parent (there are other baby containers like exersaucers, jolly jumpers, walkers, etc for babies as they get older which I do not like, but we will save that for another post). But they are the norm so the majority of people don't even question them. They think that they are "necessities" every new parent should have. I disagree. They are the reason for tummy time. They don't allow a baby to move to their fullest potential, developing all of those muscles that they get from being on their backs on the floor. So yeah, if you use those "baby containers" often and aren't willing to quit, tummy time is very important. Doctors and Health Care Practitioners started pushing tummy time when there became an increase of flat heads and weak babies. Like I said, we talked about it in school and I have textbooks that discuss the issue too. I'd be glad to lend them out to anyone or give you the titles if you're interested. The only time that "baby containers" that in my eyes are un-nessesary become necessary is when it is not safe for the child to be on the ground.

So if using all of these things is the norm, why would I choose not to use them? It's not because I didn't want to have to give Mason (or any of my future children) tummy time; it's because I learned about Magda Gerber and her philosophy of raising children (now called RIE--resources for Infant Educarers [educate+caregive]), as well as Loczy, now called the Pikler Institute (named after it's found Emmi Pikler) in Budapest, Hungary. Magda was taught by Emmi. I have lots of books on this topic too. The babies at the Pikler Institute are never put into a position they cannot get into themselves, and they progress and develop "normally," if not above "normal." The philosophy is amazing. It is all about respecting the child and letting him or her grow and develop at their own rate. Allowing freedom of movement and always remembering that they are people too. Always asking or telling the child before you do something--it's all about respect. If you want to be respected by your child, you must show them the same respect. A great example--I always tell Mason before I pick him up that I am going to do so, or sometimes I ask him. I hold my arms out and pause. Then I put them under him and pause. He will always lift his head up off the ground, showing me that he is ready to be picked up--that he is bracing himself. Always. I also always talk to him while I change his diaper, telling him what I am doing and asking for his help. I tell him to lift his legs so I can take his diaper off and he does. I tell him to lift so I can put a new diaper on. I tell him to put his legs down so that I can do his diaper up. He always does. I have been doing this since birth, and he has been "helping" with the process since about 3 months of age. Babies are smart! Give them the chance to show you! Another proof: at Mason's 3 month checkup, the doctor remarked on how he was "so strong!" (she does not know that I don't do tummy time). To this day she has never asked me if I do tummy time. Why? My guess is because he is strong and because he does not have a flat head. Like most babies, he had a little bit of a flat head for a while--not enough to be concerned though--but it's gone now because of the movement he gets from being on the floor, which is where he is for the majority of his waking hours. Of course, he has a foam mat + blanket under him and has toys to play with there, and of course I sit with him and talk + sing to him a lot, but he also is confident enough to have "alone time," and when he gets bored, I do change his view by moving him or picking him up. So please, if you use "baby containers," try to use them less, and if you find that you can't, please give your child tummy time!

Anyways, those are my reasons and I hope they can be respected. You may not agree with everything, but please know I am not doing things blindly. I have worked with children and taken schooling for 6 years now, so I do know what I'm doing (most of the time!) Like every new parent, I don't know everything and do need help and ideas once in a while, but I do know a lot and I am so grateful for all of the education and experience that I have.

July 5th, 2001, Mason is 3 months + 3 days, just starting to roll onto his side. Of course I don't think it's a race to see how quick he can roll over, crawl, sit up, etc., but it does make a momma proud when her baby is developing appropriately!!!

Sept 14th, the second day of Mason getting onto his tummy all by himself :)


Please feel free to leave a comment. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on the topic! Also, I just want to remind people that this was not written towards any specific people, I'm not trying to tell you that you are a bad parent if you use baby containers, and I don't think that I know everything about everything, I just wanted to share some opinions and things that I do know and feel would be beneficial to others, especially those who will be around Mason as he grows.

6 comments:

  1. Great post! I don't understand why people would be bothered by you choosing not to do tummy time anyways. But anything out of the "norm" upsets other parents because then they feel like they are doing something wrong.
    I choose not to let my children drink milk and I get a lot of angry comments and I have been told that I need help because of it.
    But like you, I did my research and I have my reasons!
    So good for you Tracey! You do what you feel is right as a mother to YOUR child.
    He is such a cutie and is lucky to have a mummy like you!

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  2. First off: Tracey you're adorable and I think Mason is adorable too. I think you've pretty much convinced me to try staying away from "baby containers" if I ever have kids. I'm proud of you for standing your ground!
    Jodi, I completely agree with not drinking milk. You can get more calcium and other nutrients from veggie. Plus you don't have to worry about lactose intolerance (because we're the only creatures that drink milk as adults).

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  3. By the way ^^^ that comment is from Julie :)

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  4. Thanks ladies, I really appreciate your comments!!!
    @Jodi--thank you and good for you with the milk issue, I think it's crazy that people be so rude to you because of a choice like that! We are friends with dairy farmers and they told us that--I think it's a growth hormone--it's illegal to give the milk cows but untraceable so I totally support your decision! Even if it's for other reasons too!
    @Julie--I totally knew it was you before I read your next post! lol! crazy how we haven't been around each other for years and rarely talk, but I still knew...

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  5. I love this!!
    I have used "baby containers" with my kids, but I have never "stranded" them in them. But I do agree that too many parents/caregivers use them as baby sitters rather than a learning tool. Babies/children need to be able to move freely and develop at their own rate. It always seems like it is a competition when it comes to who's child can sit first, or crawl first, etc. When really, who cares? It will happen when it happens :)
    Good post Tracey!!

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  6. Thanks Bryana! So true about racing to see who`s child can be first! Children will do things when they are ready so why not let them get there on their own! I mean really, they learn just as much from the process as from actually being able to sit up of whatever!
    To anyone else reading: I want to stress that I do not know it all and I am not trying to say that I do so please don`t take it like that! I just am sharing why I do things the way I do and the reasons behind it! I`m not saying you`re a bad parent if you don`t agree with what I have said! So I really apologize if any of you think that`s what I`m saying! This was brought to my attention by someone who I care about and I didn`t really realize I was doing it! Just be the best you can be for your children!

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